anybody listening? doesnt matter. i'll still be here

yes, i know i've already posted once today.
i just really wanted to get started. you know when you get all excited about doing something, and after a few weeks youre tired of it? well i really hope thats not what this blog is. blog. hate that word. this is kinda like a diary. but then again, i hate that word too. so i'll stick with blog. anyway, i feel like i should tell you somethings about me. i'm a freshman in high school in a small town you've never heard of. i'm a cheerleader and i'm best friends with the two prettiest and most popular girls at school. awesome. must mean my life is perfect right? haha, i only wish. (please dont stop reading, this isnt a blog where i just bitch about my life the whole time) i just had to make it clear that my friends have perfect lives, so i'm constantly stuck comparing mine to theirs. they're both in middle class families, and mine is "loaded" as they would say. my parents dont notice much, just whoever called their blackberrys last. so i dont really fit in because of all that. sure i've got way more clothes and a bigger house, but who gives a fuck? i've struggled with anorexia, its a big part of my life. recently it has shown signs of returning, and honestly, i'm too tired to try to stop it. i'm so passive right now, i might just let ana take me over, make me new. why not? thats how i got the idea for this. why not document it? i'm also incredibly into music. i play guitar and piano and i'm always downloading something new. i can be profound at times, and other times just plain stupid. i guess thats all i have about me for now, i guess you'll collect more as time passes. parents left for the islands, so i've got a week at home. hmmm. this can either be really good, or really bad. just know, that if you read this, even if you dont comment, it means alot to me. really.
<3love, Ryder