been gone awhile but i'm ready to start up again!
i got asked to prom today by a senior :D yay. so i wanna be looking extra thin in my dress. i have lots of motivation! i think for now i'm gonna stick to 600 cals a day and get more intense in two weeks when spring break is over. i want a sexy belly for the beach ;) got some hot clothes and ready for sun, surf, and BOYS ! :)
today:
fruit- 110
turkey slice-15
yogurt-80
205 total
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
awesome day.
suprise, suprise!
the sexy kid i talked about ealier, brett, is nothing but a dick. his friend told me he was talking to five other girls. sweeeet. so i went on a bike ride and decided to weigh in. 162. holy fuck. i cant remember ever being over 151! something has got to change. maybe its muscle, i thought. i went and got dressed for the movie (which i went to with my bitchy friend) and didnt fit into my jeans. something has got to change. if i had followers i'd ask for their advice, but i guess i'm on my own with this one lol. i'm thinking six hundred calories a day, with lots of excersice, and i'm gonna aim for 7 pounds in two weeks. then its gonna get harder, hopefully. damn, i just cant believe i've let myself go this much. i'm about to start having softball practice everyday after school for two hours, so at least that'll be a steady workout i have to do. then i plan on doing some more at home.
spring break is in like 4 weeks. shit. i wish i would've started this earlier. now all i can do is look at the perfect victorias secret models and not eat. wish me luck!
i would also like to say that i was deeply saddened my ana's girls' last post. i've always read her blog and i support her 100%. i'm very glad she's happy, but i don't know how i'll get through the day without reading her posts:(
the sexy kid i talked about ealier, brett, is nothing but a dick. his friend told me he was talking to five other girls. sweeeet. so i went on a bike ride and decided to weigh in. 162. holy fuck. i cant remember ever being over 151! something has got to change. maybe its muscle, i thought. i went and got dressed for the movie (which i went to with my bitchy friend) and didnt fit into my jeans. something has got to change. if i had followers i'd ask for their advice, but i guess i'm on my own with this one lol. i'm thinking six hundred calories a day, with lots of excersice, and i'm gonna aim for 7 pounds in two weeks. then its gonna get harder, hopefully. damn, i just cant believe i've let myself go this much. i'm about to start having softball practice everyday after school for two hours, so at least that'll be a steady workout i have to do. then i plan on doing some more at home.
spring break is in like 4 weeks. shit. i wish i would've started this earlier. now all i can do is look at the perfect victorias secret models and not eat. wish me luck!
i would also like to say that i was deeply saddened my ana's girls' last post. i've always read her blog and i support her 100%. i'm very glad she's happy, but i don't know how i'll get through the day without reading her posts:(
i really want to commit to this.
i'm going to try.
this week has been crazy.
i had a dance on saturday, and i was just looking at the
pictures, and i realized that my legs are skinnier than my perfect best friends (diane*)! oh happy day haha:) we never fight, but she's been a real bitch lately. my mom loves her so she sides with her and tells me that i need to be nice. but i can't stand all the constant put downs. she's two faced too. one of my other friends, allie, whom i we party with sometimes, is kinda crazy and wanted to spring break with us. diane acts like she wants to party with her, but being the funsucker she is, she doesnt even like drinking. then when allie couldnt come, she was like, omg that suckks we were gonna have so much fun! (to her face). but then to everyone else she's so happy she's not coming. bitch. stop being rude. lol sorry i went on a little rant there. but anyway, at the dance one of my friends brought this guy thats 2 years older than me (and extremely sexy) and he was all over me! now he's texting me all the time and wants to hang out, its perfect. in fact, i think we're going to a movie tonight;)
anyway, my eating habits right now are just suppper healthy. i don't binge. i just eat healthy stuff all the time. i've cut out sweets, fast food, and pop. i havent had any of those in three weeks and i feel great! i can just feel my thighs getting thinner everyday. and the best part is the envious eyes of all your friends when you have the strength to say no to the sugar shit that they cant resist ;) ah i love it. pleaseeeeeeeeee dont think that i'm not pro ana just because i dont eat the same as you. i still support you guys and i'm not gonna yell at you and tell you youre being stupid! i love reading the blogs:) you guys have such a drive! please "follow me" so i can read all your blogs!
i'm going to try.
this week has been crazy.
i had a dance on saturday, and i was just looking at the
pictures, and i realized that my legs are skinnier than my perfect best friends (diane*)! oh happy day haha:) we never fight, but she's been a real bitch lately. my mom loves her so she sides with her and tells me that i need to be nice. but i can't stand all the constant put downs. she's two faced too. one of my other friends, allie, whom i we party with sometimes, is kinda crazy and wanted to spring break with us. diane acts like she wants to party with her, but being the funsucker she is, she doesnt even like drinking. then when allie couldnt come, she was like, omg that suckks we were gonna have so much fun! (to her face). but then to everyone else she's so happy she's not coming. bitch. stop being rude. lol sorry i went on a little rant there. but anyway, at the dance one of my friends brought this guy thats 2 years older than me (and extremely sexy) and he was all over me! now he's texting me all the time and wants to hang out, its perfect. in fact, i think we're going to a movie tonight;)
anyway, my eating habits right now are just suppper healthy. i don't binge. i just eat healthy stuff all the time. i've cut out sweets, fast food, and pop. i havent had any of those in three weeks and i feel great! i can just feel my thighs getting thinner everyday. and the best part is the envious eyes of all your friends when you have the strength to say no to the sugar shit that they cant resist ;) ah i love it. pleaseeeeeeeeee dont think that i'm not pro ana just because i dont eat the same as you. i still support you guys and i'm not gonna yell at you and tell you youre being stupid! i love reading the blogs:) you guys have such a drive! please "follow me" so i can read all your blogs!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
?
yeah, so i did get bored i guess.
couldnt even keep this thing up for a day.
lack of motivation i guess.
all i need is for someone to listen.
couldnt even keep this thing up for a day.
lack of motivation i guess.
all i need is for someone to listen.
Friday, February 12, 2010
anybody listening? doesnt matter. i'll still be here
yes, i know i've already posted once today.
i just really wanted to get started. you know when you get all excited about doing something, and after a few weeks youre tired of it? well i really hope thats not what this blog is. blog. hate that word. this is kinda like a diary. but then again, i hate that word too. so i'll stick with blog. anyway, i feel like i should tell you somethings about me. i'm a freshman in high school in a small town you've never heard of. i'm a cheerleader and i'm best friends with the two prettiest and most popular girls at school. awesome. must mean my life is perfect right? haha, i only wish. (please dont stop reading, this isnt a blog where i just bitch about my life the whole time) i just had to make it clear that my friends have perfect lives, so i'm constantly stuck comparing mine to theirs. they're both in middle class families, and mine is "loaded" as they would say. my parents dont notice much, just whoever called their blackberrys last. so i dont really fit in because of all that. sure i've got way more clothes and a bigger house, but who gives a fuck? i've struggled with anorexia, its a big part of my life. recently it has shown signs of returning, and honestly, i'm too tired to try to stop it. i'm so passive right now, i might just let ana take me over, make me new. why not? thats how i got the idea for this. why not document it? i'm also incredibly into music. i play guitar and piano and i'm always downloading something new. i can be profound at times, and other times just plain stupid. i guess thats all i have about me for now, i guess you'll collect more as time passes. parents left for the islands, so i've got a week at home. hmmm. this can either be really good, or really bad. just know, that if you read this, even if you dont comment, it means alot to me. really.
<3love, Ryder
i just really wanted to get started. you know when you get all excited about doing something, and after a few weeks youre tired of it? well i really hope thats not what this blog is. blog. hate that word. this is kinda like a diary. but then again, i hate that word too. so i'll stick with blog. anyway, i feel like i should tell you somethings about me. i'm a freshman in high school in a small town you've never heard of. i'm a cheerleader and i'm best friends with the two prettiest and most popular girls at school. awesome. must mean my life is perfect right? haha, i only wish. (please dont stop reading, this isnt a blog where i just bitch about my life the whole time) i just had to make it clear that my friends have perfect lives, so i'm constantly stuck comparing mine to theirs. they're both in middle class families, and mine is "loaded" as they would say. my parents dont notice much, just whoever called their blackberrys last. so i dont really fit in because of all that. sure i've got way more clothes and a bigger house, but who gives a fuck? i've struggled with anorexia, its a big part of my life. recently it has shown signs of returning, and honestly, i'm too tired to try to stop it. i'm so passive right now, i might just let ana take me over, make me new. why not? thats how i got the idea for this. why not document it? i'm also incredibly into music. i play guitar and piano and i'm always downloading something new. i can be profound at times, and other times just plain stupid. i guess thats all i have about me for now, i guess you'll collect more as time passes. parents left for the islands, so i've got a week at home. hmmm. this can either be really good, or really bad. just know, that if you read this, even if you dont comment, it means alot to me. really.
<3love, Ryder
Welcome.
hey.
i dont know if anyone will read this, and i dont think they'll care. i just know that i need some way to share and a chance for someone to listen. i'm not the typical teen, though i do have my ups and downs. i promise this blog wont be about some dumb boy or how bad i'm doing in english, but it willbe my life, as its happening. we're all currently writing the lyrics to our own song, and thats what this is about. if you care enough to read this, then thanks alot. and if you comment, it would definately keep me sane. just thought some things needed to be said. and now, life, as its written, begins. hope that didnt sound like comeplete bullshit.
<3 Ryder
i dont know if anyone will read this, and i dont think they'll care. i just know that i need some way to share and a chance for someone to listen. i'm not the typical teen, though i do have my ups and downs. i promise this blog wont be about some dumb boy or how bad i'm doing in english, but it willbe my life, as its happening. we're all currently writing the lyrics to our own song, and thats what this is about. if you care enough to read this, then thanks alot. and if you comment, it would definately keep me sane. just thought some things needed to be said. and now, life, as its written, begins. hope that didnt sound like comeplete bullshit.
<3 Ryder
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